Why did Kendra Licari do what she did? Netflix’s Unknown Number explained

We might never know the true motivations behind Kendra Licari actions, but the jaw-dropping new Netflix documentary Unknown Number: The High School Catfish provides us with a clearer picture. Warning: some may find this content distressing.

Amid the many new true crime documentaries arriving on streaming this month, Unknown Caller is well worth your time. The story takes us to October 2020, when 13-year-old Lauryn Licari and her then-boyfriend Owen became the subject of a cyberbullying campaign.

Over time, the messages became more threatening, ranging from vile insults about Lauryn’s body to sexual comments and even urges to commit suicide. What’s more, the offender sent information only someone close to the high school students could have known. 

The case rocked their small community in Beal City, Michigan, with law enforcement turning to the FBI for help. Eventually, they were able to identify a person no one expected: Lauryn’s own mother, Kendra Licari.

Why did Kendra Licari do what she did?

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Although there is no definitive answer, the Netflix documentary sees friends, family, and officials giving various reasons that led to Kendra Licari stalking and bullying her own daughter, with one suggesting it was a digital form of Munchausen’s by proxy syndrome.

Former Beal City superintendent, Bill Chillman, says in Unknown Number: The High School Catfish, “I think it was a cyber Munchausen’s case. She wanted her daughter to need her in such a way that she was willing to hurt her. 

“This is the way she chose to do that, versus physically trying to make her ill, which is typical Munchausen’s behavior.”

Melissa Perry, Kendra’s cousin, goes on to highlight one of the thousands of horrific texts Kendra sent to her daughter, which stated Owen doesn’t like her anymore because she doesn’t give him oral sex. 

“That little girl was 14 years old. She shouldn’t be doing that!” says Melissa, adding, “I think it gave Kendra a false sense of, ‘Lauryn and I are friends. She needs me.’”

On the Munchausen’s syndrome comment, Melissa states, “I think that’s exactly it, because Lauryn would come home upset about these text messages, and Kendra got to play the hero and be there for her.”

It’s important to note that there has never been a formal diagnosis, which was highlighted by the documentary’s director, Skye Borgman, in a conversation with Netflix. 

“To give it any sort of medical foundation is a little bit problematic… But I think that there are elements about Munchausen by proxy – about harming someone to keep them close – that definitely existed,” she explained. 

Surprisingly, Kendra herself agreed to be interviewed and she’s asked the hard questions by producers. She claims that she didn’t send the first bout of messages to Lauryn and Owen, and that she joined in later in a bid to figure out who the perpetrator was. 

“I started in the thoughts of, ‘We need some answers,’ and then it just kept going. It was a spiral, kind of a snowball effect. I don’t think I knew how to stop,” she says. 

“I was somebody different in those moments. I was in an awful place mentally. It was like I had a mask on or something. I don’t even know who I was… it removed me from my everyday life.”

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In another moment, she says that she was scared of her daughter growing up and getting into a relationship, claiming she was sexually assaulted at Lauryn’s age.

However, others close to the case state that this shouldn’t be a reason to hurt your own child, while pointing out that Kendra was caught lying multiple times. 

When police were able to trace the messages back to Kendra, her family found out that she had been unemployed for some time, despite pretending to work for Ferris State University’s tech department. 

She also controlled the family’s finances, with Lauryn’s father Shawn Licari revealing that she secretly didn’t keep on top of the bills. 

Taking these factors into consideration, law enforcement and Lauryn herself don’t believe the initial messages were sent by another perpetrator. “I think it might have just been her,” says Lauryn. 

Another potential explanation is presented in the documentary by Owen and his mother: they believe Kendra was inappropriately attracted to Owen, and the messages were a way to get closer to him.  

In short, there are many theories about the motive, and somewhere in the middle lies the truth. As Skye Borgman went on to say, “I don’t know that she really knows why she did it.”

What is Munchausen’s by proxy syndrome?

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Munchausen’s by proxy is a rare mental health condition in which a caregiver deliberately causes or fabricates illness in someone under their care, usually a child, in order to gain attention, sympathy, or a sense of control. 

Now formally called FDIA (factitious disorder imposed on another), the behavior is a form of abuse, as it puts the victim in danger of unnecessary medical treatment, procedures, or even harm. The perpetrator then positions themselves as the rescuer. 

One of the most widely known cases is that of Gypsy Rose Blanchard, whose mother Dee Dee made her daughter undergo unnecessary medical treatments for years – a story later adapted into TV show The Act.

Where is Kendra now?

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In 2023, a judge sentenced Kendra to at least 19 months in prison on stalking charges. She was released in August 2024 on parole until August 2026, and is currently living in Pontiac, Michigan.

When the true crime documentary was filmed, Kendra said she hadn’t seen her daughter in around a year and a half. It’s likely that Kendra isn’t allowed to see Lauryn as part of her parole conditions. 

Skye explained that Lauryn’s perception of her mother changed over time, with the help of her close relationship with her father. 

“The first time we sat down with Lauryn was in the spring of 2023… and she at the time loved her mom. She just wanted her mom back in her life,” the filmmaker said.

Netflix

However, when they returned the following year, Lauryn “wanted to approach the relationship with more caution in our second interview,” having had time to process what happened. 

Lauryn does believe she can rebuild a relationship with her mom, but she’s cautious. “I think I want to trust her now but I don’t think I can,” she says. “Now that she’s out, I just want her to get the help that she needs so then when we see each other, it doesn’t go back to how it was before.”

Unknown Number: The High School Catfish is streaming on Netflix now. For more true crime news, read about if the Jussie Smollett case was a hoax, Amanda Knox’s ordeal in prison, and the first poster for Monster: The Ed Gein Story.